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ALBUM NAME:

 

Pretending To Live In A Van

RELEASE DATE:August 7th, 2006

 

SONGS:

 

1. King Me
2. After All These Years I've Seen
3. Stay Strong
4. The Picture & The Party
5. Talking Truth, Saying Nothing
6. There Is A Song For Every Situation
7. Stuck Between Two Coasts
8. Cheapskate
9. Time To Relocate
10. You Can't Live With Me
11. Billy Arrives In Seattle After Being In LA
12. Fourth Of July At The Pier
13. Annie In My Arms
14. Mary Wore White At Night
15. In Between The Reality And The Dream
16. June (Life Imitates Art)
17. The Miraculous
18. Mess
19. Looking For A Past That Never Was
20. Suzy Free

KING ME

You know I've had it with the shortcuts
It always seems they get the best of me
Boston's a lonely place for you and me
I guess I was naïve thinking
There was a shortcut to eternity
I think I have the right
To feel like a decent human being
But everyone keeps telling me

You're never gonna be rich
You're never gonna go gold
You're never gonna beat the clock
You'll never attain your goals
You're heart is made of glass
We all see you've gotten so low
And at the end of your life
You'll see you really don't know
You're heart is chasing passion
That you're body will never, ever know
And at the end of your life

Next week or in your Ebenezer rocking chair
You'll wonder why you ever thought
Life was a romantic affair
When I feel it's a lonely place to be
Is being the Queen as lonely as it seems?
I'm not gonna stop
Until they King Me

You know I've had it with the chess game
I've had it with feeling like a pawn again
Someone's always got better strategy
Bishops and knights get the best of common men
I see you piling up your pawns
Boston's a tough place for me to be
I see them mowing your lawns
You're sitting just where I would like to be
But I have a decent plan
If you can, you can take the better hand
And I'll knock over the chess board
Whoever decided that the playing field
Had to be checkered black and white?

Call me idle, call me a gangster, call me a charlatan
Tell me my ideas are paper and pawn thin
But I'm the kind of guy
Who keeps popping up again
At the golf course
And your son's wedding, to your chagrin
And I think I have the right
To feel like a decent human being

You're never gonna be rich, you never gonna be poor
And if you ever get ill, you'll never find the cure
You're never gonna stop, you're never gonna go
You're never gonna fly, you're never gonna grow
Your heart is made of glass, you're gathering the snow
Your mind is finding reasons that you're body will never, ever know
I've been down before

I'm a great person
And it is my understanding
That you have no idea what will become of me
So why should I listen to you?
And all the things you think I'll never do?

I'm never gonna lay down, I'm never gonna give up
I'm never gonna sit back, I'm never gonna act too tough
I'm always gonna write, I'm always gonna fight
I'm always gonna rage against the dying of the light
And in the moments when I see the flickering, fading spark
I'm never, never, never, never, never, ever
Gonna do what I don't think is right

I'm twisting in the wind again

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS I'VE SEEN

So now I'm drifting into half-life
Tripping over tables in the corner of the café
And you see, it's just delivery, it's all about me
I'm down with the MC

So now I'm tripping into midlife
Slippin' on the carpet and the promises of champagne
And you see, it's not what you be, the blame is on me
Because I'm down with the MC

I'm reelin' in the years, I'm betting on tomorrow
Don't care about being rich, as long as I have Mojo
The critics sharpen their wit, they're gatherin' in Soho
My heart is thumpin' louder
My face is whiter than the New York snow
But it's miraculous to me
After all these years I've seen

STAY STRONG

Jack works at the Pike Place market
He's awkward about who he's supposed to be
He's not the kind who talks loud
And acts proud
In familiar company
Why does Jane always scold him?
She is cold to him
She looks the other way
He watches her as she walks away
With another guy
And he says, "Someday"
Alexandra she is easy
She makes new friends with no problem at all
When she's at work she's playing
When she's playing she's flying until she falls
People cut her off when she talks
It's like scratching her name in the sand
The best poets steal
The limp get academic
And the raw ones up and start themselves a band
All the cools boys on the avenue
They present their tale a different way
It's all about presentation
But if all the truths in the world were a farce
And the portraits of success that you stare at
As you walk through the park
Were illusions
I'd say, "Stay Strong"

THE PICTURE & THE PARTY

I saw a picture of you last Tuesday
It was on my friend's dresser
I tried not to notice, but my blood raced
And I remembered how I'd felt

I said I'd be rich and vanquish
And color all the day
And you'd come running to my door
Like you did before God pulled you the other way

I'd have a party at my house
The who's-who
Flip the toggle-switch
The gross-nouveax
The nouveax-riche
And you would come
But you're a louse

It would never work
You would have known you wanted me back then
I'm no different now
It would never work
And the fact that I'm even pondering it
Makes me feel like a jerk

TALKING TRUTH, SAYING NOTHING

Old heaven ogles oligarchies and omens of Onan
Other-worldly wanderers wrecked the wall with a wave of a wand
Fortified, fickle fire-breathers fall face-forward with each folly
Educated, erudite eraser-headed elders eat elk as evidence of the ersatz
The burlesque, bombastic, buoyed baller swings the baseball bat
Xenophane goes "X" then "O" then gets the X-rated, to be exact
The pungent, pubescent pontiff gets plutonium then punishes the pack
The gore in Georgia gets caught in the gargantuan gap
Virulent, vivacious, and vitriolic vandals have vendettas to tap
The holy and the hellish haunt handily and do the hand-slap
The indignant, indifferent, and insatiable do the inverted skit-skat
Jovial, jolly, and jocular: that's how we judge jingoistic Jack
It was kinky and Kinko-d when the kid photo-copied the Kit-Kat
Carl gets hot by the cakes at the clambakes when he castrates chicken
The oracular over-man overtly occupies the omnipresent age-gap
Quizzically, the queer quotient goes quirkily to the left quadrant of the map
Rotting racists routinely rock harder to the metal rhythms than to the beats of rap
Ulysses was unkempt and uncovered by the underachieving uncle trap
The youthful yeoman yearns for the unusually yellow yard
Zed rolls the Zig-Zags, does the Zen spirituals, and zips off to Zimbabwe

THERE IS A SONG FOR EVERY SITUATION

There you go, taxing the wishbone again
I want to spill, like the almanac of poor Benjamin
The Keebler Sessions were a romantic idea for the ego
I pull a line from a song or I trash the liner notes

The Bedhead Sessions are wrapping up
We do the dance, nowhere to go but up
Visions and revisions of romantic stuff
Is this all there is? Doing this dance is enough?

There is a song for every situation
There is a song for every situation

Words can't cover it, Seneca's suggestion
To crush authority, to complete the circle of circumspection
To release the fury, to find some crisis questions
That allow the brain to supply the tongue with a definition

For a small piece of the American Dream
Or Barcelona or Lollipops or French cream
Another side of this bus is all you can see
Taxing the wishbone, again, to be happy

There is a song for every situation
There is a song for every situation

STUCK BETWEEN TWO COASTS

I want to live like the poor are living
Like the folks out in the ash heap,
Like in Good Will Hunting
Like working class folks,
Like the blue collar living,
Maybe scratching at the middle class I want to live like they live near the factories
I've got to hide from what I am
I've got to find a place to fly my flag
Where I come from it's too laid back
I want to sail my ship into the black
Each place has a different pace
Each has a different set of values
I want to live at the point of connection between all communities
I want to inhabit the valley of ashes between you and me
There are thousand of miles between you and me

CHEAPSKATE

I don't like your patronage
Does that make me a cheapskate?
If you don't have the money to cover the bill
Are you a cheapskate?
If you didn't earn the money to bring to the bash
Are you a cheapskate?
If you never feel like going outside
And your bedroom is a comfortable place to hide
Are you a cheapskate?
We all want to do what's right
Even the cheapskates

TIME TO RELOCATE

What do I have that can't be relocated?
Packed in a box and moved away
Friends, family, and loved ones
We'll stay in touch if it's worth it, ultimately

Can I live with you? I need things to do
If I move faster, I soon will matter
We'll watch a softball game at the park,
I'm OK with them shutting the lights off after dark

Want to escape the many memories
From the hometown that bore me

It's so easy-going on the West coast
The rock club scene is so laid back
Hangin' round with all the music folks
We'll get coffee and hit the video store

Red walls of a rock n' roll club
Climax at the Long Beach hotel
Watching paint dry in the housing developments of the suburbs
Drives the porno queens into the big city to dwell

Want to escape the many memories
From the hometown that bore me

'Cause with everything in your life that has value
The value must be stripped away
Attach a new kind of meaning
And package it in a brand new way

Want to escape the many memories
From the hometown that bore me

I'm booking my flight
I'm making my travel plans
Make you feel so well
Oh, well

YOU CAN'T LIVE WITH ME

You are something I can never be,
You've been blessed with a certain pedigree
We weren't cut from the same cloth,
We aren't of the same mold
You write the checks
I'll drink the old gold
But if you want to do what's right
And make it easier on both of us
Don't come out to Seattle

Look deep within yourself
Look at the hand that you've been dealt
You've got the degree and the bonne idée
That the stress is less in the land of the Northwest
You're not like us, you never will be
What a beautiful city, everyone's so polite
You'll never be anybody else
And you got to accept that it will follow you
Don't come out to Seattle

You're trying to get away from your family
But I know they won't think much of me
You should head back to where you belong
You're not like us, you never will be
And these folks don't need your patronage
Camping with me, making your plea
Good times came and went
And I appreciate your sentiment
But don't come out to Seattle

You'll never be who you ultimately need to be
Hangin' around with Seattlites like me

BILLY ARRIVES IN SEATTLE AFTER BEING IN LA

Damn the Blockbuster marquee

The town is full
Of plastic facades
The coffee shop has
Replaced the liquor store

Queen Angeles fell
Under Californian rule
Do you think it's too late
To buy cheaper fuel?

This town changed

You say I'm sentimental,
Well, I just got back home from LA
Does it make sense to celebrate
The old Queen Anne way?

For some reason I'm feeling
Nostalgic for the pharmacy
The drag has turned into
A long string of boutiques

This town changed

I used to know what I wanted to be
But you were always there for me
In your arms in the apartment
Is the only place I can call home

I get a feeling, so deep,
When I look in your eyes
We're sad at what we become
When our hometown dies

This town changed

You are the only thing left
That resembles a home, I guess
I don't want them to ever change you
You were always there for me, it's true

It sucks to know I can't afford a house
On the street where I grew up
Construction crews start
To rip the buildings apart

Let's kiss on the stairs in a blissful repose
And who cares if the world ever knows
Our souls will live on together, always a bond
After this town gets overhauled, our love will live on

This town changed

THE FOURTH OF JULY ON THE PIER

The fourth of July fireworks light up the trees
The cool wind blows but it's now 80 degrees
Down by the pier all the sailors head out to the Sound
I meet Annie, the mystic - she likes to get down

We hear the ferry boat's sharp whistle
We hear them partying at the Owl n' Thistle

Let's hop a ferry and watch the fireworks blow!

She's just arrived from her walk through Discovery Park
She's come to meet her lover and do what lovers do after dark
She goes to the ballgame; she eats down in old Chinatown
She watches music in Pioneer Square where rock rhythms pound

She knows the boys from the burbs
Whistle at the hoochies on the curbs

Oh, and we watch the scene, the pier lights are shinin'
We should love each other tonight, everything feels right
There's no other lookout on earth I'd ever want to be
Tomorrow I might have to go, so please hold on to me

The grunge boys, they to smoke in the park in their clubs
With mesh hats and cigarettes and pale skins, eating subs
I'm tired of this place though I love it so much, faults and all
These boys will chase the girls till they go to the UW in the fall

They might meet heat in the bedroom, lights down low
Or maybe in the back of the Blazer, you never know
Babysitters head down to the Seattle Center to smoke dope
They all have stories to tell, got to keep it from the folks

You see the fireworks blow, you feel the blast!
You're rollin' down the counterbalance so fast

You can't stop this car from 'trolling,
This train from rolling through the past

ANNIE IN MY ARMS AT THE PIER

Oh, Annie
I have you in my arms
And the water lights shine
As we walk by the pier
And your father thinks
It's too late for you to be out here
But Queen Anne is near
And there's no other voice on earth I'd want to hear

Oh, the angels from school
Don't fly around here anymore
Their halos don't shine like these fireworks do
Now that it's July
And you have a tear in your heathen eye
You look for the angel to come down I-5
Or maybe pull into the pier
Down from the north
To take you for a ride

The angels are all going back to heaven
They smiled on us when we were young
When we thought the pier, the Seattle Center,
And the Pioneer Square scene was fun
Well, the angels aren't in any seedy drags
Or in the soulless plastic spread that thrives
No, the angels left us when we got old
But left us with a hand to hold

On the July nights sometimes it stays cold
Sometimes the city feels cleaner now, truth be told
And the dives and decadent have been driven out
We'll take the bus downtown to see what it's about
Past the rock clubs
Past the underground tour
I'll buy you some flowers at the market
I know folks who work down there, you know
And we'll see what it was
We ever thought this city had, anyways

Maybe this town don't got it
But you got it
I know you got it
And I got you
And these moments are few

You sure got it
So don't let the world take it from you

MARY WORE WHITE AT NIGHT

You grew up on a tree-lined street
Like Central Park placed on a Seattle circle
You scribbled a plan when you visited Long Island
You crafted your culture in pacific silence

Mary wore white on a Queen Anne night
You stood at the lookout point and cried all night
You snuck out from your father's window
It was cold and on down came the snow

Mary wore white on a Queen Anne night
She left again and you saw the light
Walking tall by the sycamore trees
Jewel box in the top of the key

We'll write our script and we'll chase our past
We'll walk with dancers in the moonlight mash
We'll hit the bar; we'll hit the library
We'll drink brown bottles; we'll embellish the story

Seattle is a fertile breast of land, my friend
Been around the world and it brings me back again and again

IN BETWEEN THE REALITY AND THE DREAM

Rode the bus past the gated house
Mind mulled over the list of fancy touts
You think your day should be so much more
But what do you really have in store?

At this point in the morning,
People ponder what is gone forever
Some like their Indie Rock
Some read the New York Times

Ride the bus and hope
Some passion will be discovered
Wait till your ship comes in
Hit the day job, get the sinking feeling

You occupy the space between
The reality and the dream

JUNE (LIFE IMITATES ART)

June will follow the moon
The twins are separated now
One mind will be in summer
The other in winter
July will come and follow suit
We have no treasure or no loot
I can't eat in the same restaurants
I don't get excited when I see that pretty girl
Memories don't seem so valuable
There seems to be nothing worth much in this world

Some days I feel like a king
When life imitates art

One day I feel great
The next I feel like crap
There's no logic to it
But some days, yes some days I feel like a king
I feel so down and I don't know why
I've lived a safe life and I rarely try

To push the envelope
To push out from the dark
We have a classic example of life imitating art

Some days I feel like a king
When life imitates art

THE MIRACULOUS

Obadiah was the one
Who thought he could battle the sun
In a Moscow café we first met
I knew there was something I couldn't regret
And he spoke in words I'd never heard
It felt absurd But I knew it was miraculous

I'd returned from the East
I'd left plans of becoming a Roman Catholic priest
And in the fog beneath a crown of rock
I wanted nothing but my worn-out frock
And I saw things the way I'd always wanted to
And not a soul knew
But I knew it was miraculous

MESS

The brilliant poet Dylan Thomas was a mess
But that's the way it goes, I guess
A certain kind of beautiful girl
Across the bus, with eyes of pearl
She never will be mine, at all
She's just a photo on the wall
She's just a fleeting kind of dream
She's just an animal, it seems
My fertile imagination has been raped
The trees sapped and the soil scraped
Now it's a devastated wasteland
It once was such a verdurous place
It once comprehended grace
Now it sees only animals
Now it only remembers images, not whole ideas
It is a shame that we mix our practical concerns
With our earthly desires

LOOKING FOR A PAST THAT NEVER WAS

We played pool all night
We talked about the old times
We sat by the fire light
We almost cried, we almost hugged
Talking about a past that never was

The critics write and make some sense
Of the meaning of all the current events
They look for a time of innocence
Before the TV screen was filled with fuzz
But they write about a past that never was

So, I sit here dreaming and lying awake
Praying I've got a few more decades to live
But it's hard not to feel I've been compromised
By the attrition of time, I feel the butterflies
From the loss of the youthful, warm-bath buzz
Thank God for the past that never was

Otherwise the present would seem hopeless
Thank God for the future that can never be
Let's talk and talk about what was lost
What transpired, what could never get across
And about all the times we lied, just because
We thank God for the past that never was

SUZY FREE

Suzy free said to me
There's only one thing she wants to be
That's a celebrity, it's plain to see
The world is your oyster, eventually
She carries that cross,
She sucks up to the boss,
She idolizes the ones who seem to be free
They seems so wise,
They wink their eyes,
They realize their potential inside the TV

Suzy, don't fall for the snake-oil sale
Those celebrities may be beautiful,
But they have nothing over you and me
And our plot of land on this dead-end street
Do they have what we had at the lake?
You've seen the golden sun on the California beach
Does it seem out of your reach?
Do you like the sun? Do you tan easily?
Don't let those celebs deceive you and me

Suzy, you're never late for the party
But you're always rude to the hosts
You broke their coffee table, you interrupted the toasts
It was a family heirloom in the den
You got way too drunk this past weekend
And you can't remember your fast new friends
But please stop to think, as your eyes start to blink,
While you wash your clothes in the kitchen sink
About all the things you have that you love dearly
All the things which are only available to you and me
On our plot of land on this dead-end street
Suzy, please, don't believe
That celebrity will allow you to be free

 

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